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the next few minutes. Na janye hannuna daga wuyansa na tattaro dukkan karfina na tura shi baya, inda ace dutse na tura to iyakacin response din da zan samu kenan. Na kara gwada tureshi ina kokarin raba bakina da nasa. Still no response. Ya raba bakina da nasa yace "please please don't fight" naji abinda yace kuma na gane me yake nufi. Karfina dana Sultan tamkar a gwada karfin kaza ne dana doki, lol, in dai har nace zan gwada masa karfi to shima dole zai saka min nasa karfin kuma in dai yasa min karfi to kashina ya bushe dan fata fata zai yi dani. Mafita ta daya ce itace inyi using brain dina, fata na daya ne Allah yasa kwakwalwar tawa tana aiki dan sosai jikina yake karbar sakonnin Sultan. Nabi toilet din da kallo a hankali, na hango kofa a gefen inda muke, a hankali na fara tafiya da baya yayinda Sultan shi kuma ya biyoni tamkar magnet har sai da bayana ya hadu da bangon toilet din kusa da kofa, ina jin sultan ya sauke wata ajjiyar zuciyar da na kuma jinta a kasa tare da kara matse jikinsa a nawa. Ta gefen idona na karewa kofar kallo, naga hook din da ake rataye towel a jikin kofar, good, very good. A hankali na saka hannuna a kan handle din kofar na murda, naji dadi da kofar bata yi kara ba duk da ma ko tayi ba lallai ne sultan yaji ba, na bude kofar kadan sannan na saka hannuna ta waje na rike handle din waje, na dakata ina jiran chance dina kuma ina addu'ar Allah yasa kada jikina yayi giving up kafin in samu chance din, ban jima ba kuwa sai ga chance dina ya fado, Sultan ya chire bakinsa daga nawa ya dago kansa da niyyar mayar dashi wani gurin daban. Na bude kofar da dukkanin karfina. Lissafina yayi dai dai dan hanger towel din ta samu Sultan a gefen kansa. Gaf. Da sauri ya sakeni ya rike kansa da hannu biyu. Next second a waje yayi min, ina fita na rufo kofar tare da murda key din sau biyu.

A bakin toilet din na durkushe ina karkarwa, har yanzu na kasa tantance takamaimai me ya faru. I feel lower than the lowest rat, I feel cheaper than a common prostitute. Sai a lokacin sannan wani kuka yazo min wanda ban taba irinsa ba a rayuwata.

# This chapter is for you in kinsan kina bin saurayi ba tare da sanin iyayenki ba. This chapter is for you in kinsan ba zaki iya cewa saurayinki a'a ba duk inda yace ki bishi zaki bishi. This chapter is for you in kinsan kina barin maza ko da kuwa ba samarinki ba suna shiga har dakinki. Ba fata nake miki ba amma zaki iya fuskantar abinda yafi na Moon, ba lallai ne ki zama as smart as she is ba, ba kuma lallai ne ki iya controlling jikin ki kamar yadda tayi controlling na ta ba. Sannan kuma ba lallai ne ya zamanto saurayin naki yana sonki kamar yadda Sultan yake son Moon ba. Zai same ki ne a banza kuma daga ranar ba lallai ne ya kara kallon ki ba. Allah ya raba mu da aikata aikin da zamuyi nadama har karshen rayuwar mu Allahumma Ameen.




Episode Forty Six : The Repentance

Gaba daya jikina karkarwa yake yi saboda irin kukan da na keyi, ba me sound sosai bane sosai amma irin wanda karfinsa yake jijjiga jikin mutun din nan ne. What just happened to us? Ji nayi na tsani kaina gaba daya saboda ina ganin duk abinda ya faru laifina ne. I shouldn't have let Sultan come to America with me tunda nasan ni kadai ce ba kowa a tare dani. Daya biyoni din ma I should have stand my ground in nuna masa limit dinsa. Amma na barshi kusan komai tare muke yi, shi ba muharramina ba sannan ga strong attraction da yake a tsakanin mu. Na tuna lokacin da ya fara cewa yana sona, cemin yayi he has nothing yana so inyi sharing what I have with him. Nothing din da yace bayana nufin kudi ba, yana nufin many things da yayi lacking including tarbiyya, amma maimakon inyi sharing tarbiyyata with him sai na biye masa muka zama marassa tarbiyyar gaba daya. Na tuno maganar Amira da take cemin ita character is contagious, idan ni ban gyara shiba shi zai iya lalata ni, gashi kuwa ta tabbata, ni nasan abubuwan da na aikata zuwana America ko a mafarki akace min zan aikata something like that zance karya ne. Ni nasan wannan abinda ya faru dani har da alhakin iyaye na a ciki. Sunyi iyakacin kokarinsu gurin bani tarbiyya amma nake cin amanar su ina bin Sultan, na tuno abinda na ke yi a abuja da England, sai inyi wa mommy karyar zanje unguwa mu fito da driver sai inyi ditching drivern in bi sultan, instead of in yace min inzo muje yawo in ce masa a'a in yana son gani na yazo ya same ni a gidan mu. Na tuna irin kallon da colleagues dina suke min tinda muka zo America suka ganni tare da Sultan, a lokacin sam ban damu ba, gani nake what people think about me doesn't matter, tunda kullum abinda sultan yake ce min kenan, na manta cewa ita shedar mutane itace shaidar da take bin mutun har kabarinsa. Nan tunanin mutuwa yazo min. Yanzu da zan mutu na tabbatar wuta zanje, annabi saw cewa yayi damu 'kada ku kusanci zina' amma ni exactly opposite abinda yace min nayi. Nan take wani irin tsoron Allah ya fara shigata, kukana ya tsananta, cikin kukan na fara kiran astagfirullah, astagfirullah har sai da murya ta da dashe ni kaina bana jin me nake cewa. Wani sanyi naji yana ratsani sannan na tuna har yanzu babu kaya a jikina, bedsheet din kan gadon na jawo na kudinduna ina karkarwa, a hankali naji na daina jin sanyin, kukan ma ya tsaya sai ajjiyar zuciya. Na sa hannuna na shafa fuskata ina goge hawayena, anan na taba lips dina da suka kumbura, tun da na mallaki hankali na babu wani namijin daya taba koda rike hannuna ne, but Sultan has kissed me today kuma wannan ba shine abinda nafi regretting ba kamar the fact that I kissed him back. I should have control myself but I didn't, I am too weak, too soft.

Na kalli hannuna naga zoben da Sultan ya bani last week. Sai a lokacin na tuna dashi a toilet, duk da abinda ya faru sai naji ina wondering is he OK? Ba motsi sam a toilet din, what if I hit him too hard? Na mike a hankali na dauki kayana dana ajiye na fara sakawa, sai a lokacin na tuna cewa na saba kumfa a jikina ban dauraye ba, na kalli jikina naga babu kumfa babu alamarta. Na saka kayana ba tare da ko mai na shafa a jikina ba, turare ma sai dai yayi hakuri yau kam. A madubi na kalli fuskata naga tayi fari tas tamkar babu jini. Idona ya kumbura sosai saboda kukan da nayi, na dauko glass a cikin handbag dina na saka, na tuna Sultan ne ya saya mana rannan iri daya ni dashi. A kwatina kawai naja nayi gaba, har nakai bakin kofa sai na tsaya ina kallon kofar toilet, har yanzu babu motsi a ciki, na karasa gurin na zare key din daga jikin kofar na tsugunna a hankali na tura shi ta kasan kofar. Still banji motsi ba. Hankali na naji bai kwanta ba, na leka ta keyhole, a zaune na ganshi ya jingina da bango yana facing kofar, idonsa a lumshe, side din fuskarsa daya da jini alamar karfen yaji masa ciwo, na jima ina kallonsa sannan na lura kirjinsa yana dagawa alamar numfashi, sai a lokacin na lura cewa kayan jikinsa complete suke har da takalmi da agogo, sai dai yanzu gaba daya kayan sun jike da kumfar jikina. Ba abinda ya zo gurina yayi kenan ba, zuwa yayi ya kaini airport, he has been good, more than good, how did this happened. Na sake masa one last look sannan na bude kofar apartment din na fita. Na duba agogo naga 12:30, yaushe time ya wuce har haka? Sai da anje gate din hospital din sannan na samu taxi nace ta kaini airport, ina zuwa na sake sayan wani sabon ticket for the next flight to England. Wanda suka ce min sai 6 na yamma zai tashi, I will wait, dan da in koma apartment dina gwara in kwana anan ina jira. Waiting room dinsu na shiga na zauna, na tuna ko breakfast banyi ba amma na share. Ina zaune har lokacin sallar Zuhr yayi na tashi na shiga toilet nayo alwala na dauko potable sallaya ta mai hade da compass na shimfida can gefe na tayar da sallah, sai da nakai sujjadar karshe inda anan na saba gabatar da adduoi na amma yau na kasa addu'ar komai, am a sinner, ta yaya zan roki Allah bukatuna bayan na saba masa, sai kuka, da kyar na dago daga sujjadar na kammala sallar sannan na dinkule a kan sallayar na cigaba da kuka na. Anan na wuni ko ruwa na kasa sha, ina ganin missed calls din mommy, nasan sunje daukana basu ganni ba, bazan iya magana ba shi yasa ban dauka ba. Karfe 6 jirgin mu ya tashi, na zauna a seat dina temperature ta tana hawa, flight attendant na kira nayi requesting a bani bargo, haka na kudunduna ina ta juya zoben sultan a hannuna. Is he OK? Ko ya fito daga toilet din? Duk da abinda ya faru tsakanin mu amma sam har yanzu banji haushinsa ba, nafi jin haushin kaina. Ina nan a kwance har jirgin mu ya sauka around 11:30 na dare, na kunna waya ta na fita reception na kwanta na kudunduna a cikin hijab dina ina karkarwa. Bana son zuwa gida sam saboda gani nake kamar abinda na aikata yana rubuce a goshina ina zuwa gida zasu gane. Number din Hafsat nayi dialing tana dauka nace "Hafsat ina airport bani da lafiya, dan Allah ku zo ku dauke ni" da sauri ta amsa jin yanayin muryata. Ba'afi 20 minutes ba sai gasu ita da Zayed, Hafsat tana taba jikina tace asibiti, Zayed yace "No, mu kaita gida kawai tasha magani ta kwanta, zuwa gobe in babu sauki sai a kaita asibitin" sai da muka je gidan Hafsat sannan ta kira mommy ta gaya mata gani nan a gidansu babu lafiya, nan da nan mommy ta daga hankalinta tace zuwa zatayi ta ganni da kyar daddy ya hana ta yace ta bari sai da safe, tunda daga Zayed har Hafsat duk likitoci ne yasan zasu kula dani. Magunguna zayed ya bani na sha sannan Hafsat ta dama min oats shima na sha, gana nan suka tafi suka barni suka ce in kwanta inyi bacci. Suna fita na tashi na shiga toilet nayo alwala na gabatar da sallah Magrib da Isha, sannan na zauna na fara jero salloli a duk sujjada ina kuka ina neman gafarar Allah, kawai sai na samu kaina da yiwa sultan adduah. Na tuno da maganar da Steve ya gayamin lokacin da na tambayeshi ko sultan yana shan giya, he said only when he is frustrated, yanzu kuwa nasan sultan is as frustrated as frustration goes. Sai da aka fara kiran sallar asuba Hafsat ta shigo da niyyar tashina sai ta ganni already akan sallaya sai ta koma. Sai da na idar da Sallah asuba sannan na kwanta, ji nayi kamar an dauke min wani nauyi daga kaina. A take bacci yayi awon gaba dani.

Aduk sanda bawa ya aikata laifi, babban abinda ubangiji yake so shine bawa ya tuba, taubatan nasuha, ka tuba da niyyar ba zaka sake aikata laifin irin wannan ba. Shi Allah mai gafara ne kuma mai rahama. In dai har ka tuba ga Allah, kai kanka ba sai an gaya maka cewa tubanka ya karbu ba, ajikin ka zakaji, saboda shi zunubi nauyi ne dashi, zakaji kunchi a zuciyar ka amma da zarar ka tuba zakaji kunchin ya yaye. Allah yasa mu dace.

Sultan
Jinsa yake kamar wanda yake yawo a gajimare, bai taba jin feeling irin wannan ba saboda bai taba bin wannan hanyar ba. Ji yake yi kamar ya bar duniyar nan mai cike da kuncin rayuwa ya kama hanyar wata mai cike da soyayya, gaba yake kara yi ko waiwaye baya yi burinsa kawai ya isa destination dinsa. Kamar daga sama yaji saukar karfe a gefen kansa. Ba shiri ya sake ta, ba wai zafin dukan yaji ba a'a it took him by surprise ne kawai, irin ba zato ba tsammani din nan. Ya rike gurin yana tunanin me ya faru, next thing da yaji shine karar rufe kofa. Sai a lokacin ya bude idonsa, ga mamakinsa sai ya ganshi a tsaye a toilet, toilet din apartment din Moon. "What the hell am I doing here" ya kalli kayan jiki sa yaga duk sun jike da ruwa, what happened, shi dai yasan ya taho da sauri zai dauki Moon zasu tafi airport, ya tuno ya shigo dakin yana nemanta, ya tuno sanda ya murda kofar toilet din, he remember seeing her. He then remember everything. Wani irin jiri yaji ya taso masa yayi baya ya hadu da jikin bango sannan ya durkushe a gurin. Innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun. What have I done? A hankali ya fara jiyo saurin kukanta daga cikin dakin, jin kukan yake yi tamkar saukar ruwan kibiyoyi a kirjinsa. Ya runtse idonsa yana fatan Allah ya dauki ransa anan. Abu daya ne zai hana shi kashe kansa ayau, saboda yasan duk wanda ya kashe kansa wuta zashi, shi kuma yana da burin samun lahirar sa, tunda bai samu farinciki a duniya ba ko Allah zai nufe shi da rahama ya samu lahira. Sai da ya hadu da ita sannan ya fara tunanin maybe zai iya samun farin ciki a duniyar ma, amma yanzu after doing what he did, he knows that he lost his dunya sai dai kuma lahirar. Tun farko yasan cewa he is playing with fire, saboda yadda yake jinta is beyond explanation, amma gani yake ai zai iya daurewa, saboda yana ganin tunda bai taba aikatawa ba bai san dadin abun ba, yana ganin he can control himself, sai yanzu ya gane cewa ashe shayi ma ruwa ne. Har yanzu kukan take yi har muryarta ta dashe. Da ace wani ne ya sakata kukan nan da sai inda karfinsa ya kare amma gashi shi da kansa ya saka ta kuka kuma ko rarrashinta ba zai iya ba saboda baya jin zai kuma iya hada ido da ita. A hankali ya furta "am a monster" . Jin dadinsa kawai shine the things stopped halfway, da ace yayi destroying dinta completely da baisan yadda zai yi da ransa ba. "I should have know that I will never amount to anything good, iyayena ma sunyi abandoning dina saboda sunsan cewa am a monster" a take ya fara nadamar saninta a rayuwarsa, da basu hadu ba da shikenan something like this ba zai taba faruwa da ita ba, she is the most decent girl daya taba sani a rayuwarsa. Now she is crying because him. Ta daina kukan yanzu amma yasan kukan fili ta daina na zuci kuwa zata cigaba dayi har abada. Yana jinta tana shiryawa, tafiya zatayi, yana so ya sake ganinta, one last look, amma yasan ba zai iya ba, abinda yayi mata is unforgivable, ya jingina kansa a jikin bango tare da runtse idonsa. Ya jima a haka kafin yaji an bude kofar apartment din sannan aka rufe, she is gone, gone from his life. A hankali ya mike daga inda yake zaune a karasa gaban mirror yana kallon fuskarsa, jinin da yake fuskarsa har ya bushe. Bai damu da shi ba dan haushin kansa yake ji sosai, ya dunkule hannu ya naushi reflection dinsa, mirron ya tarwatse duk ya yanke shi a hannu "fuck" ba fada yana karkada hannunsa saboda da gaske yaji zafin buguwar. Ya kunna fanfo ya wanke hannun sannan ya wanke fuskarsa. A kasa yaga robe dinta, ya tuna sanda ya kwace ta daga hannunta, ya sunkuya ya dauka ya cusa fuskarsa a ciki yana shakar kamshinta, ya jima a haka sannan ya rataya robe din a ruyansa yayi hanyar kofa, ya murda handle din yaji a rufe, damn, wato he was as bad as sai da ta rufe shi a toilet, I am truly a monster, ya sake fada a hankali. Yayi bending yana studying lock din, sannan ya ciro belt din jikinsa ya zare pin din ya dan lankwasa shi kadan ya zura a keyhole din, bai jima ba ya bude kofar, tun yana yaro ya iya bude locks saboda tsabar yawan rufe shi da ake yi a daki. A Lagos kuwa hatta locks masu pins sai da ya koyi yadda ake budesu. Sai da ya jawo kofar sannan yaga key din a ajjiye a kasan kofar, wani abu yaji ya tokare shi a kirji, she loves him so much, tayi locking dinsa amma kuma sai ta ajjiye masa key saboda ya bude kansa, bayan duk abinda yayi mata, she loves him and that hurts him alot, he let her down bayan kuma shi yayi mata alkawari yace "I will never let you down " . Yasa kai ya fita ya kalli dakin yaga babu abinda ta dauka sai jakar kayanta, hatta kayan da ta chire suna kan gado. Yayi deciding he will have to come back later ya hada mata sauran kayanta ya aika mata dasu, da kayan da ya saya mata na tsaraba, amma shi kam yasan bazai kuma iya hada ido da ita ba.

Moon
Sai wajen 12 na tashi daga bacci, shima kuma yunwa ce ta tashe ni, a hankali na tashi zaune. Abubuwan duk da suka faru suna nan tas a raina amma kuma fes nake jin zuciya ta, na bude kofa na fita palo, mommy na gani zaune ita da Hafsat, sai a lokacin na lura da kibar da Hafsat tayi, she is pregnant, mommy ta tashi da sauri ta karaso inda nake "Moon ya jikin naki? Kinga yadda kika rame kuwa? It is my fault, dana sani na biki American nan in yaso ko hotel sai mu kama mu zauna har ki gama, zaman kadaici ne ya saka miki ciwon ba komai ba" na danyi murmushi a raina nace "I was never alone mom, but you will never know" na rungume ta ina jin dadi har cikin raina, mother is above everyone. Har wajen Zuhr mommy tana nan, sun sani a gaba ina ta basu labarin America da abubuwan da na koya, amma ko da wasa banyi mentioning sunan Sultan ba. Sai da daddy yayi ta kira sannam mommy ta tafi, ni kuma nace sai gobe zan dawo gida. A raina ina son magana da Hafsat ne. Sai da daddare muna bedroom din Hafsat sannan nace mata ina son magana da ita, ta samu guri ta zauna ta bani attention dinta, tiryan tiryan na fara fara bata labarin bina da sultan yayi america har abinda ya faru jiya ban boye mata komai ba, sai da na kai karshe sannan na sauke idona kasa nayi shiru. Saukar mari naji a kunci na na hagu, naji zafin marin sosai a raina nace "I deserve it " wani marin na kuma ji a kuncin dama, wannan karon har sai da kwalla ta kawo a idona, da sauri Hafsat ta mike ta fita, ni nasan kuka zata je tayi.

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Episode Forty Seven : Amir

Na jima ina shafa fuskata dan da gaske marin ya shige ni. I deserve it. I deserved everything that happened to me. Bawai na gaya wa Hafsat abinda ya faru bane dan tayi min fada ko wani abu ba, na gaya mata ne saboda ta bani shawara akan abinda ya kamata inyi yanzu. Hausawa sunce mai neman shawara sirri sa baya rufuwa amma kuma aikinsa baya baci. Na jima anan a zaune ina ta lissafe lissafe a raina, ina juya zoben Sultan a hannuna. I desperately want to know how he is, amma kuma bazan iya kiransa ba. Nasan kuma shima yana son yaji daga gareni, amma ba zai iya kirana ba. I just want someone to act as intermediary. Har nayi shirin kwanciya na kwanta babu Hafsat babu labarinta. A raina nace tayi fushi dani. Da safe na tashi na yi wanka na shirya sannan na fita, a kitchen na same ta ita da maid dinta suna hada breakfast, ko kallon inda nake bata yi ba har suka gama aikin ina zaune ina kallonsu, suka shirya dining sannan ta tafi yin wanka. Naje na zauna nayi serving kaina ina cikin ci sai ga Zayed nan, daga yadda yake yi min magana na fahimci cewa Hafsat bata gaya masa maganar da mukayi ba, wannan yana daga cikin dalilan da yasa na iya gaya mata, baza ta gaya wa kowa ba. Muna breakfast muna hira sai gata ta fito kamar amarya, tun kafin ta karaso Zayed ya mike ya taro ta suka fara zuba soyayya ni dai ina ta kallonsu. Ko wata rana ni ma zan samu wannan farin cikin? Da sauri sauri ya gama ya shirya ya fita asibiti. Nan muka zauna awkwardly ni da Hafsat, maid dinta tana cleaning table din. Can dai tace "yanzu how do I even know you are intact?" Na harare ta nace "ko in bude miki ki gani?" tayi ajjiyar zuciya tace "yanzu me kike so daga gareni" nace "so nake ki bani shawarar abinda ya kamata inyi" ta bude baki da mamaki tace "yanzu ke har sai na baki shawara? Kina nufin kice min da akwai sauran alaka a tsakanin ku? After what he did to you?" Na sunkuyar da kaina a hankali nace "I love him" tace "you are crazy" a raina nace "maybe I am" can ta sake cewa "yanzu in na baki shawarar ki rabu dashi, zaki rabu dashi?" Na girgiza kaina va tare dana kalleta ba. A fusace tace "then what do you want from me?" Na dan jawo kujera ta kusa da ita nace "yanzu so nake in san ta wacce hanya zamu yi moving forward, abinda ya faru ya riga ya faru, it is in the past. Amma matsalar itace bansan ta yadda zamuyi communicating da shi ba, I can't call him and he can't call me. So nake at least in baki number dinsa ki kira shi kuyi magana, at least to know how he is doing. He is a really good guy, he is not what people think he is. I don't want abinda ya faru tsakanin mu yayi affecting dinsa negatively. Please Hafsat" na gama kamar zanyi mata kuka, amma banga alamar tausayi sam a fuskar ta ba, sai ma tsabagen mamaki na da take yi, cikin mamaki tace "You want me to call him? In kira shi ince masa me for God's sake? Thank you for trying to rape my sister kike so ince masa ko me?" Na dakatar da ita da sauri nace "He did not try to rape me, what happened wasn't entirely his fault, ni ma da laifi na a ciki" kafin in karasa ta mike da sauri kamar wadda ta manta wani abu, taje bakin kofar palo ta bude kofa ta juyo tana kallo na cike da tsantsar takaici tace "get out of my house" banyi mata musu ba na koma bedroom dinta na jayo akwatina wanda dama ko bude shi banyi ba kayan ta nake sakawa, nazo na fice daga ni har ita babu wanda ya kalli wani. Ina fita na tari taxi nace ya kaini Nigerian embassy.

Ina zuwa gida zan iya cewa kusan na manta da komai saboda farin cikin ganin family na. Sai wani ji dani suke yi kamar zasu goyani. Kwana na biyu na warware sosai ina ta harkoki na amma ta ciki na ciki dan dai dai da second daya ban manta